TV addiction
I am addicted to watching television. In the grand scheme of things, it seems like no big deal, because it isn't illegal and technically I'm not doing any self-harm.
Except that I am. My obsession is making my brain less functional, it's keeping me overweight, and it makes me less sociable and angrier. It ensures I do not meet my fitness goals because all I want to do is sit in front of the television and watch. And watch. And watch. And what am I getting out of it? I'm not enriching my life in any way. Watching Grey's Anatomy does not help me in my life, except maybe make me more of a hypochondriac, and trust me, if you ask my fiancé, that doesn't make anyone's life better.
A few months ago I quit Hulu because I was annoyed at their pricing. The crazy thing is it didn't really bother me. At first I wondered what was happening on This Is Us or Scandal, but after a few weeks I realized I didn't care. It didn't affect my life in any of the ways I expected it to. My shows are a part of my personality, but maybe they aren't. Maybe that's what I want to think. Maybe my shows are actually giving me a distorted version of reality and my life doesn't measure up. Is that why I have a motivation problem? Is part of the reason I can't get motivated to exercise or learn new things that I think life should be the way it is on New Girl?
The Olympics are on right now, but I haven't been watching much other TV at the moment, and I'm okay with it. Maybe when I do watch TV, it should be something that at least mildly enriches my life, like Planet Earth or documentaries.
My other major problem is I watch television as I'm falling asleep, something my fiancé tolerates because he is amazing, but something that I think probably affects our sleep quality. For years it was Friends every night, but now it's Harry Potter. I tell myself it's to keep my brain occupied or because I'm scared of something, but I think it's because of my obsession. If I was actually tired from DOING something during the day, I wouldn't need something to occupy my brain. I would be sleepy enough to actually fall asleep and not lay there for sometimes up to an hour trying to fall asleep.
So in reality, it's possible we haven't had many good nights of sleep in ten years and it's 100% because of me and my addiction. My addiction should only be hurting me, in the same way a drug addict or an alcoholic believes their addiction only hurts them and no one else, but in reality, it's a ripple effect. And I don't even get anything out of it except feeling temporarily happy or stressed or excited. But then it's over and it's a half hour or an hour or six hours later and what do I have to show for it? More time sitting down when I already sit for eight hours a day at my job? A sedentary lifestyle that literally stops me from achieving my weight loss and fitness and health goals?
When the Olympics ends this weekend, I think I'm going to take a break from television. It should be an accessory thing, not the main source of entertainment in my life.
Except that I am. My obsession is making my brain less functional, it's keeping me overweight, and it makes me less sociable and angrier. It ensures I do not meet my fitness goals because all I want to do is sit in front of the television and watch. And watch. And watch. And what am I getting out of it? I'm not enriching my life in any way. Watching Grey's Anatomy does not help me in my life, except maybe make me more of a hypochondriac, and trust me, if you ask my fiancé, that doesn't make anyone's life better.
A few months ago I quit Hulu because I was annoyed at their pricing. The crazy thing is it didn't really bother me. At first I wondered what was happening on This Is Us or Scandal, but after a few weeks I realized I didn't care. It didn't affect my life in any of the ways I expected it to. My shows are a part of my personality, but maybe they aren't. Maybe that's what I want to think. Maybe my shows are actually giving me a distorted version of reality and my life doesn't measure up. Is that why I have a motivation problem? Is part of the reason I can't get motivated to exercise or learn new things that I think life should be the way it is on New Girl?
The Olympics are on right now, but I haven't been watching much other TV at the moment, and I'm okay with it. Maybe when I do watch TV, it should be something that at least mildly enriches my life, like Planet Earth or documentaries.
My other major problem is I watch television as I'm falling asleep, something my fiancé tolerates because he is amazing, but something that I think probably affects our sleep quality. For years it was Friends every night, but now it's Harry Potter. I tell myself it's to keep my brain occupied or because I'm scared of something, but I think it's because of my obsession. If I was actually tired from DOING something during the day, I wouldn't need something to occupy my brain. I would be sleepy enough to actually fall asleep and not lay there for sometimes up to an hour trying to fall asleep.
So in reality, it's possible we haven't had many good nights of sleep in ten years and it's 100% because of me and my addiction. My addiction should only be hurting me, in the same way a drug addict or an alcoholic believes their addiction only hurts them and no one else, but in reality, it's a ripple effect. And I don't even get anything out of it except feeling temporarily happy or stressed or excited. But then it's over and it's a half hour or an hour or six hours later and what do I have to show for it? More time sitting down when I already sit for eight hours a day at my job? A sedentary lifestyle that literally stops me from achieving my weight loss and fitness and health goals?
When the Olympics ends this weekend, I think I'm going to take a break from television. It should be an accessory thing, not the main source of entertainment in my life.
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